This Is My Life

I’ve had a really hard time writing this post. Not because I haven’t tried, oh I’ve tried, it just never felt like I did the events that happened to me this week justice.
I have had a weird week.
I’ve finally reached this conclusion: I am much better at writing about and embellishing mundane things to sound funny, than I am at taking actually funny things that happen to me and making them entertaining to read.

Because I have been told that I need to write these stories, as they somehow only happen to me, I’m going to just get them in print and send them off into my little corner of the internet. I hope that even though I’m not writing about them in my usual sarcastic and petulant tone, you still grasp the weirdness that was my week.

Last Sunday my co-worker Marissa and I went shopping. This is why I wanted a job so badly, so that I could make a new friend to go shopping with.

After a long day of trolling the mall, we decided to have lunch at the Olive Garden. Confession: I love chain restaurants. Ruby Tuesday’s, TGI Friday’s, Red Lobster…I just can’t help myself! If I can get the same dish here as I can in Florida as I can in Massachusetts, it just makes my belly happy.
Anyhow, we both ordered the unlimited soup and got down to girl talk. I was impressed with how attentive and friendly our waiter was and enjoyed chatting with him as well. It wasn’t until the end of the meal that my friend commented on the fact that she was still hungry and had not been offered any more soup.
Turns out the waiter was being purposely attentive to me, as I got this with my bill:

Marissa is still waiting for a refill on her soup.

Wednesday night I was hanging around our local college town when I ran into this guy.

I immediately sent the picture to my friends and my favorite response was from my sister. “Oh god Brandy, who are you dating now?”
(For those of you who crawl under rocks on Thursday nights, this is Craig Robinson, also known as Darryl, from The Office.)
I happened to have a copy of Mindy Kalings new book with me, (Kelly from The Office) and he took a picture of me and the book and sent it to her! And I just realized that I forgot to tell him how much I love Toby!! Damn. Hey Mindy…send my picture to Toby…tell him to call me!! I have our wedding colors picked out!!

Wait…don’t tell him about the wedding colors thing. I’ll tell him.

Friday morning a guy I met twice wrote a poem for me. Or not. There has been some debate about it. The running theory is that the poem was originally written for an ex as a “let’s get back together” poem and is now being given to me as a “please date me” poem. Nobody has written anything for me since Patrick Swayze wrote “She’s Like The Wind” for me when I was 3.
Yes that song was for me, who else would it be for?

To round out a crazy week I went with my big sister to see a crazy movie. That’s right, I saw the new Twilight movie. It’s horrible and amazing all at the same time. One of the highlights is when Bella announced the name of the baby, Renesmee, and a guy in the theater with us shouts out “Renesmee?!”
I’m with you dude. Horrible name.

The other highlight was when my sister cried at the wedding scene. Laughing at her for crying at a Twilight movie is probably the hardest I’ve laughed all week.
…and with the week I’ve had, that’s really saying something.