This was a discussion my family had one night last week (During this discussion my dad was cleaning his guns at the kitchen table. He does this a lot. It’s probably about as safe as it sounds.):
Mom: Why is it so hot in here?
Dad: Because I turned the heat on, it’s 50 degrees outside!
Mom: Well if you guys got up and moved a little more, you wouldn’t be so cold.
Dad: You know Brandy, someday these guns are going to be worth a lot of money. If you’re smart, when I die, you’ll take them to a sporting goods store and trade them in for a winter coat. You’ll freeze around here without me to turn the heat on.
Mom had her own gem during dinner tonight where I had expressed frustration over a job interview that didn’t go well:
Mom (to my dad): One of our outlets isn’t working, pretty soon I’m leaving you for an electrician.
Me: No need, I can just date an electrician.
Mom: If you’re as good at dating as you are at finding a job, I’m screwed.
My parents are both great at a lot of things. Boosting morale might not be one of them.
Me: What are you watching?
Me *stopping to look at tv*: That’s Entourage Dad
Last Sunday I was walking through the living room of my parents house when I noticed something out of place. It’s not even mid-August and my mom has decided to bust out the pumpkin decor. (This ‘getting ahead of myself thing’, its hereditary.) Instead of complaining about it, I’ve decided to come up with a list of all the things I love about fall. It’s my favorite. Well…Fall and Christmas. And my birthday. More on those later…right now, fall:
1. Mitten weather. Does anybody remember Allegra’s Window? They had a great song about mitten weather.
2. Back to school time! Even though I’m not a teacher anymore, I still love this time of year. ” I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” Bonus points if you can name that movie!
3. Football! Not because I like to watch the game as much, I just like to eat chili with a bunch of people who are watching the game and will sometimes chat with me during commercials. I do, however, love watching Aaron Rodgers.
4. Pumpkin flavored everything. Do I really need to elaborate on this one?
5. Halloween. I have the best idea for a Halloween costume this year. I also want to go to Salem in October. Last year I got to watch Hocus Pocus in the park that it was filmed in! I called my brother and told him it was one of the top 10 moments of my life. He thought I was joking. I wasn’t. If I had hot cocoa, it would have made the top 5.
Anybody else looking forward to fall?
Just a few more days until I, cue the scary music, move back home. Who says you can’t go home? Well, I probably would have. My mom might, although she isn’t letting it show.
I have been trying to wrap my head around how this will actually feel. My life isn’t that wild and crazy, so I don’t have any habits that I will have to give up living at my parent’s house. No drugs. No drinking. Wait, I take that back. I’m going to be back in a town that sells Red Cat!! Yes, drinking. It’s wine that tastes like kool-aid though, nothing too hard. (For all of my friends who don’t know, Red Cat is what happens when you take grape juice and add fairy dust and rainbows. It is so sweet. Not really wine at all, just deliciousness that sometimes gets you tipsy.)
What I am going to miss is being master of my domain. The kitchen is no longer ‘mine’. It’s my mom’s. If I want to have skim milk it will have to be a little ½ gallon that sits next to the family’s 2%. I don’t have a problem buying my own milk, I’m just having a hard time getting used to the idea that I have to share the space. Especially because, if you know my mom, she keeps the refrigerator pretty stocked. There might not be enough room for my milk or my chocolate chips that I started eating out of the bag when I had my own apartment.
My room will not be my own either; my niece pretty much has run of the whole property. I love my niece, but stepping on Barbie’s and having her giant, scary Olivia doll stare at me while I try to sleep is going to take some getting used to.
The last time I was home I also discovered that the bathroom door does not lock properly. This will not do. You can only be walked in on by a dog so many times before you start waiting until he’s asleep to use the bathroom.
So maybe the first things on my to-do list should be to find a place to stash the creepy Olivia doll, a lock for the bathroom and make some room for my milk.
And where, oh where, am I going to keep the Red Cat?