Even I Didn’t See This Coming
Hi friends. Nice to see you’re all here. This is the longest I have gone without posting because, well, I’m exhausted.
It’s a good kind of exhausted. I’m not going to write about my new job today though, I’m going to write about another experience I’ve had recently.
After months of drafting resumes and cover letters to highlight how professional and experienced I am, I finally got really bored with it. Bored enough to write something that could probably be featured in a “what not to send to a possible employer” handbook. Then I, against my better judgement, sent it to a company I wanted to work for.
The letter looked something like this:
Dear Person with the Ability to Hire Me,
I recently saw that your company is looking to hire somebody in the marketing department. I’d like you to consider me as I’m confident I can help you build so much buzz you’ll think it’s another earthquake. East coast style.
In addition to being incredibly likable and a great salesperson, I also possess all of those skills that you would want an employee to have:
Hard worker? Oh yes. I have no boyfriend, only a couple of hobbies and just a few friends, so distractions are minimal.
Works well with others? I love others! I also love baking for others. Wouldn’t the office look good with a plate of cookies in it?
Multi-tasker? I used to teach Kindergarten. If I can tie shoes, serve snack, read Dr. Seuss and monitor time-outs without breaking a sweat, there isn’t anything you could throw at me that would make me stumble in my stilletos. (That’s not true. I wear flats.)
The bottom line is that I work hard, and love people. I also love this field. I enjoy being witty and approachable, but have the proven ability to suit up and run board meetings. Your company represents the best entertainment in this area and I would be very enthusiastic about representing this company.
Since it’s Friday, I encourage you all to follow in my footsteps. If there is something you have been working really hard on lately, stop. Don’t stop trying altogether, just give it a really half-hearted attempt today. I’m pretty sure only good can come of it.