This was a discussion my family had one night last week (During this discussion my dad was cleaning his guns at the kitchen table. He does this a lot. It’s probably about as safe as it sounds.):
Mom: Why is it so hot in here?
Dad: Because I turned the heat on, it’s 50 degrees outside!
Mom: Well if you guys got up and moved a little more, you wouldn’t be so cold.
Dad: You know Brandy, someday these guns are going to be worth a lot of money. If you’re smart, when I die, you’ll take them to a sporting goods store and trade them in for a winter coat. You’ll freeze around here without me to turn the heat on.
Mom had her own gem during dinner tonight where I had expressed frustration over a job interview that didn’t go well:
Mom (to my dad): One of our outlets isn’t working, pretty soon I’m leaving you for an electrician.
Me: No need, I can just date an electrician.
Mom: If you’re as good at dating as you are at finding a job, I’m screwed.
My parents are both great at a lot of things. Boosting morale might not be one of them.