Mama Don’t Allow No Sheep’s Drinkin’ Round Here (Pt. II) -or – Why I’ll Never Be A County Fair Princess
If you are just joining in the fun today, be sure to read Pt. I first.
All done? Great. Let’s continue…
As our tour of the fair continued, we came upon the bingo tent. Bingo is my favorite fair activity so I grabbed my sister, brother (in-law) and we all found seats. A man smoking a cigarette and drinking a giant mountain dew came up to collect our money. We were later told that the man was called “Bingo Bob.” Of course he was.
Bingo Bob did not wander through the crowd of bingo players as the game commenced. He just kind of leaned over the table we were playing at and watched. It was a little intimidating. I had 9 bingo squares to attend to and I was just waiting for one of Bob’s sausage fingers to point to a number I had missed. I quickly found out that I didn’t need to worry about missing numbers…Bob had me covered. We were in the midst of a very intense jackpot round when we heard somebody in the front call “Bingo!” Bob quickly sprang into action, cleared the chips off one of my cards and yelled “Bingo! Here too!”
I looked at my sister, puzzled. I didn’t have bingo. Bob had rigged the game! My prize? 2 white plastic chips. I set them to the side and continued to the next game. Good news…won again! This time I had my choice of prizes: 30 minutes of free bingo or 2 coupons. I didn’t know what the coupons were for, but I figured whatever it was, it must be better than 30 minutes of rigged bingo.
Deciding that we should quit while we’re ahead, we cleared off our bingo cards and went to cash in my 2 white chips and 2 coupons. In my head, 2 white chips + 2 coupons = something awesome!!
I got a plastic bird feeder. I have to go buy bird seed today.
This was proving to be a pretty eventful trip so we met up with the rest of the family to rest and listen to music for a few minutes. We were lucky enough to catch the Midlife Cowboys playing “Mama Don’t Allow No Guitar Playing Around Here.” They put on a fun show and that song will now be in my head for 2 months. One of the fair princesses was also enjoying the music. She had on a beautiful dress…and steel toed work boots. It’s a good thing I wasn’t crowned princess, I don’t own any boots.
No trip to the fair is complete without trying to win a goldfish. The game never changes, toss the ping pong ball into the fishbowl and win a fish. 6 balls for $1 or 15 balls for $2. After my awesome showing at bingo I was feeling confident enough to just put $1 down. I lost. I tried to convince the man running the booth that if I gave him another dollar I should be able to get 9 balls instead of 6, since $2 got you 15 balls altogether. He said he didn’t think I understood how it worked. I don’t think he understood that I knew I was cheating the system, but if Bingo Bob was going to let me get away with blatant cheating, I didn’t see why he couldn’t bend the rules just a little. No gold fish for me. It’s just as well. I don’t have a very solid history of taking care of pets.
On our way back to the car my brother spotted a ride that he decided would be fun. I usually have a strict no-ride policy, but hot off the disappointment of not winning a goldfish my judgment was clouded. We got in line for the ride just as the last group of people were getting off. I didn’t really see the ride in action, but so many small children were exiting the ride that I decided it couldn’t be that intense. My brother and I got into one of the cars, pulled the metal bar over our laps for safety and I held on tight. The ride took off and I was pleasantly surprised. We were not that high off of the ground, and were not going very fast, just a leisurely float.
That lasted about 10 seconds.
Quickly, the cars rose up high in the air and the car started creaking. Not a slight creak. A “we’re going to fall off of this ride and break our legs,” creak. I started getting angry with my brother for suggesting the ride. He clearly wanted us to get hurt. Just as I started yelling at him for having this terrible idea the ride started to move up and down! It was too much and I was holding on to the bar so tightly that my knuckles were white. Apparently my arm muscles were pretty tense because even now, 2 days later, I have a hard time lifting them over my head.
Who knew the fair could be so eventful? Did anybody else see anything worth sharing at the fair this week?