Mama Don’t Allow No Sheeps Drinkin’ Round Here (Pt. I)
This morning I woke up to two aching arms. The dull pain started at the base of my neck, went through my shoulders and rested at my biceps. I haven’t been doing any strength training, so naturally I assumed that I must have heart disease or some degenerative muscle condition.
Scrolling through the list of possibilities on WebMD I started thinking about all the things I wouldn’t be able to enjoy anymore if my muscles all started seizing up like this. Strolling through the mall, chasing after my niece, my days of adventure would be over! And then it hit me. My muscles weren’t sore for any medical reason, unless stupidity counts. My muscles were sore from one, very poor decision that I made yesterday. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
Yesterday my family decided to take a trip to the Tioga county fair. I was undecided as to whether or not I wanted to go, fairs have never really been my thing, but who am I to pass up a chance to play bingo while drinking a peach milkshake?
When we arrived we were greeted by the typical fair sights and sounds. Rides that look questionably safe at best, multiple food trailers with burgers and French fries, barns filled with animals and baked goods, a dozen game booths with unappealing prizes and a large sign announcing free Wi-Fi. Free Wi-Fi? Are people bringing their netbooks to the fair these days? We can’t wait until we get home to update our Facebook status with our opinion of the demolition derby winners? I’m all about progress in this area but I think this is a classic case of pick your battles. We do not need Wi-Fi at the county fair, or at Pudgie’s, the local pizza place. There is a large banner outside the Pudgie’s in town advertising free Wi-Fi to its patrons. I couldn’t imagine somebody going to Pudgie’s for a solo evening of pizza and blogging. I did see one man enter Pudgie’s with a laptop case last week, so maybe I underestimate the power of free Wi-Fi. Actually, maybe I should have said hello. If I see him again I’ll have to pay attention to what he orders, if he’s a woodchuck fan he might be my soul mate. (Woodchuck the beverage, not woodchuck the animal, it’s sad I have to clarify these things now that I live in Pa.)
After making it through the fair entrance, we went straight for the food. Eating is definitely the highlight of any trip like this. I had a delicious peach milkshake made by a local Christian school group and sampled the food that my family ordered. I would rather have a bite of 8 different things than a burger or slice of pizza of my own, variety being the spice of life and all.
Once we were finished eating, it was time to tour the barn animals. There aren’t a lot of interesting things to report about rows of sheep and bunnies and cows. I did notice two things that were a little off. First was the sign at the entrance announcing that there could be no alcoholic beverages in the stables. Part of me wants to ask what prompted that sign, rational thinking tells me I’m better off not knowing. The next thing that struck me as odd was the giant poster showing all of the meat cuts that come from the various animals you are looking at. I’m far from vegetarian, but looking at a cow and looking at a picture of rib eyes right next to the cow made me a little sad.
Come back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of my trip to the fair. You will find out why I am a bingo superstar, how not to win a goldfish and I’ll finally reveal what I did to make my arms hurt so badly.