You Should Probably Just Text Me
Why I Don’t Leave Voicemails…Or Check My Own
- I don’t check my voicemails very often, so I don’t expect anybody else to either.
- Most of the time, they say the same. Exact. Thing. “Hi Brandy, this is ____________. I was just calling to (say hi/hear your beautiful voice/ask you if you want to do something 3 days ago because by the time you get this message the event will have passed). Call me back!
- Once I see that I have a missed call from you, I already assume that you’d like to chat with me. Awesome! I’d like to chat with you too. I’ll call you when I get a chance. See…I didn’t even need to listen to the voicemail.
- I also assume that if it’s an emergency, you will not just leave a voicemail saying “Brandy, we had to take your cat to the kitty emergency room because his tail fell off. Come immediately!” That’s way too sad to just leave for a voicemail. You will hang up and call my mom/sister/place of work/imaginary friends until you find me. And then give me the bad news.
- Sometimes I ramble, and then my voicemails sound really stupid. “Hi Beth, I was just calling to tell you about an adventure I had riding unicorns over rainbows while drinking ecto -cooler. Let me know when you have time to listen to it. Actually, let me know when you work this week so that I know when a good time to chat might be. Not that I need your whole work schedule, just the next few days or so, ya know, so we can chat soon-ish. Maybe we can get coffee or something, or just chat on the phone. Whatever works. The only day I can’t chat is Tuesday, and Sunday evening. Anyhow, hope all is well. Give me a call when you get a chance, or just text me. Ok, so I’ll talk to you soon. Um, bye.” Pretty sure nobody wants/needs to talk to me after getting a message like that.
I have a hard time believing I’m alone in this. Anybody else out there anti-voicemail?